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Tuesday 8th September First day back at school. I am going to 100% nail being a school mummy this year. I can totally do this. Yes, this year is definitely going to be much better - I am absolutely not going to shout at the children, let them stuff their faces with crisps or goggle away on the iPad. And I most certainly will not slump on the sofa at the end of the day, glugging wine and muttering 'FML' repeatedly. Unfortunately I have not yet actually managed to buy the bento boxes for their...

Why Mommy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mommy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane.It’s every parents’ nightmare – the start of the school holidays – and instead of sitting in the sun, reading a book over a cold, crisp glass of Pinot Grigio, Mummy has two bored moppets to attend to. After frantically booking sports camps, child minder slots, not to mention time off work, Mummy is exhausted. But this is only the beginning…After being...

The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks.Welcome to Mummy’s world…The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips…Mummy’s marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble...

Issi on Väga Tähtis Mees ja talle meeldivad tehnikavidinad. Ja tema kuur. Lapsed Peter ja Jane istuvad lakkamatult mõne ekraani taga, ning kui nad seda ei tee, üritavad nad teineteist ära tappa ja ajavad emmet hulluks. On emme 39. sünnipäev. Tema ees seisab lohutu pilt tulevikust, täis inimesi, kes kutsuvad teda edasijõudnute joogasse, ning ontlikke raamatuklubisid, kus igaüks väidab end olevat svipsis pärast esimest klaasi veini ja ütleb asju nagu „Isver, kas sa jood tõesti veel ühe?“. Aga...

Family begins with a capital eff.I’m wondering how many more f*cking ‘phases’ I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me ‘it’s just a phase!’ for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is ‘just a phase.’ Potty training and the associated accidents ‘is just a phase’. The tantrums of the terrible twos are ‘just a phase’. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler...

Tere tulemast emme maailma! Emme rüblikust poeg Peter on oma iPhone’iga kokku kasvanud, nagu ühendaks neid nabanöör. Puberteediikka jõudnud Jane on võtnud kindlalt pähe Instagramis staariks saada. Issi käib aga aina tihedamini eksootilistel ärireisidel … Pinged emme abielus kasvavad, lapsed muutuvad aina pöörasemaks ja maja kipub igast otsast lagunema. Ainult Judgy, Uhke ja Üllas Terjer, jääb ustavaks. Lisaks ootavad emmet uued väljakutsed, sest ta asub tööle trendikas start-up’is. Lisaks...

The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks. Monday, 25 July The first day of the holidays. I suppose it could've been worse. I brightly announced that perhaps it might be a lovely idea to go to a stately home and learn about some history. As soon as we got there I remembered why I don't use the flipping National Trust membership - because National Trust properties are full of very precious and breakable items, and very...

Family begins with a capital eff. I'm wondering how many more f*cking 'phases' I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me 'it's just a phase!' for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is 'just a phase.' Potty training and the associated accidents 'is just a phase'. The tantrums of the terrible twos are 'just a phase'. The...

No.1 bestselling author Gill Sims is back with her eagerly awaited fourth and final Why Mummy novel. I just wanted them to stop wittering at me, eat vegetables without complaining, let me go to the loo in peace and learn to make a decent gin and tonic. Mummy has been a wife and mother for so long that she’s a little bit lost. And despite her best efforts, her precious moppets still don’t know the location of the laundry basket, the difference between being bored and being hungry, or that...

It's time for a w(h)ine 'Oh, for f*ck's sake' muttered Claire under her breath, as she opened the fridge to see what she could find for a no effort dinner. The children continued to fight behind her. They regarded any form of fish not encased in breadcrumbs as toxic, and were resistant enough to the delicious homemade fishfingers Claire had made for them, insisting they much preferred Captain Birdseye's version. White wine was starting to look like quite an appealing...